Memories


A long slim finger traced down Shin’s chest to his belly button circling around it. Paul propped up on an elbow looked down at him a slight frown gracing his small oval face shrouded in waves of chestnut hair.

"Come on, we both know I am sexy enough for it. God I a model after all," Paul said with exasperation.

Shin got up from the bed grabbing up a loose white robe walking over to the window to look out into darkened Paris street. Running a hand thru his lose golden hair he sighed softly.

"Its time for you to leave Paul," Shin said softly.

"Why because I asked you to put me in your painting? We have been together for over six months yet you still will not let me get close," Paul said rising from the bed.

"No Paul I mean I don’t want to see you again," Shin said his voice growing cold.

The small slim man advanced on Shin roughly grabbing his arm to pull him around to face him. Shin broke the young man’s grip easily not looking at him, a mask covering his face as he stared out into the empty street.

"Damn you, why!? Everyone said you were a cold hearted bastard, but you have shown me you are more," yelled the still naked man tears streaming down his face.

Shin turned looking down at Paul’s angry tear streaked face. A face that he had become accustom to in the last six months. His green eyes betraying no emotion as he stared at the sad angry blue eyes..

"Their right you know. I have enjoyed your body but nothing more. You want from me what I am unable to give you. That something more belongs to a young boy who died over fourteen years ago. Leave now or I will throw you out naked as you are," Shin said his deep monotone voice empty of everything.

"Shin, please I love you," Paul said anger fleeing his face replaced by fear.

"I don’t know what that means Paul, I believe I told you that the first night I met you," Shin said grabbing Paul’s clothes and throwing them at him.

Shin went back to the window looking down again his mind floating back to his past unwillingly. He felt the invisible whip of his grandfather and the loud baritone voice so like his own repeating over and over "I love you, but you must stop drawing those inane pictures". "If you love me you will stop crying like a child." " I am all you have Shin don’t disappoint me again."

Shin looked out into the night tired of the little children who threw themselves into his bed demand love from him, wanting things from him. He wanted a slave someone who wouldn’t want his love or anything from him. He wanted his pleasure without the price of whining clinging children bent on possessing him. In short he wanted a lifeless doll who couldn’t make demands on him, who couldn’t force him to change.

He heard the door slam and sighed in relief. Walking from the bedroom he was surprised to hear a knock at the door. Pulling his robe closed he went to the door surprised to find a stranger standing before him.

"Hello, I am from Le Palais "



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